But it's dawned on me: I have chained my happiness to this little box. One pound either depresses me to the point of eating a row of Oreos or elates me to the point of starvation eating. It's a vicious and stupid cycle.
So, I'm not going to step on the scale (doctor visits exempt) and I'm not going to measure my hips, waist, bust, thighs and upper arms (and even sometimes my calves!) unless it's necessary. Which means if I am cast in a show and they have to take my measurements. And even then I'm hoping I'll be able to close my eyes and let go of it.
But what I am going to do is continue to try eating well, and clean - getting enough fluids, and develop an exercise habit at home (in two weeks once my audiobook is complete, because right now I am wake, work, go home, edit, sleep, repeat. Throw in quick meals and some acting work/auditions and I am pretty full up.
I am shooting a commercial Friday. It's requiring I wear a dress and probably not look deceptively flattering. It's okay. But as part of my social experiment I'm going to take a full length photo, warts and all.
And would you believe it? I already feel lighter!